So, Guess where I am… Yep- back in the car, Payton snoring away. I’m missing the sound of the rain today, though.
I mentioned back several weeks ago that I would address some of the fears people have about adoption. I already wrote about Billy’s biggest fear- money. I know one of the fears I dealt with and still occasionally face is the idea that I am inadequate to parent any child, let alone one that comes with the emotional scars that an orphan often bears. Am I patient enough? Am I merciful enough? Am I loving enough? The answer is no. But the good news is there is One who is. And He just happens to live inside me.
One of my greatest weaknesses involves clinical depression, with which I have had a long history of a pretty rough battle. It got really intense in college, and I put my friends, family, and sweet husband (then, boyfriend) through way too much. Thankfully, after years of anti-depressants and counseling, the good days far outnumber the days where depression threatens to take over again. When we started the process of adoption, though, I realized that most countries would want a full health evaluation, one that included a history of my mental health- and fear gripped me.
In the late summer of 2010, I remember sitting at dinner with our dear friends, Jonathan and Andrea Johnston, and telling them about our plans to adopt. We were all going to see “A Night with the Chapmans” (Steven Curtis Chapman and family would sing and share their story) at Southeast Christian that night. If you know anything about Steven Curtis Chapman, you probably know that he is one of the top-selling Christian musicians of all time. He and his wife, Mary Beth, are also passionate about the plight of the orphan. They have six children, three of whom were adopted. So, we knew that this event would probably have a good deal of focus on adoption, which in turn meant that there would probably be a good deal of crying done by me. So, we went ahead and told the Johnstons that we felt the Lord was leading us to adopt our next child. I vividly remember telling Andrea that one of my biggest fears was that my history of depression would cause us to be turned down and not even considered.
We sat and listened to great music and incredible testimony from the Chapmans, but there is one thing I will never forget about that night. One of the first things to come out of Mary Beth’s mouth when she stood up to speak was- and I am not kidding- “Yay for anti-depressants!” She shared about how she had had an awful and ongoing battle with depression for years and years, and how that had not hindered their adoptions of three sweet little girls. It was completely random and like she was speaking straight to me. Actually, more like the Lord was speaking straight to me- He just used her as the mouthpiece. He had this under control, and my fears and concerns were not valid reasons to stop pursuing His plan for my life.
Isn’t that true for all of us? Our fears and concerns are never acceptable excuses for failing to follow Him. After all, the scriptures are full of reminders that we are not to fear, that He is God, He is in control, and He is good.
In the book, Choosing to See, Mary Beth Chapman tells the story of her friend Terri Coley and Terri's daughter, Carrie. Carrie was urging her mother (who already had four biological children and three children through adoption) to adopt again. Terri had already argued that she had seven children and did not need any more. Now her response was that she was too old, but Carrie replied, "Is it better for an orphan to have an old mom... or no mom?" This reminded me that our fears, particularly those of inadequacy, do not make disobedience okay. (By the way, Terri and her husband did adopt again, meeting their eighth child, Daniel, on their 25th wedding anniversary.) If the Lord is calling you to adopt, you are inadequate, but allow me the opportunity to remind you and myself again, the He is MORE THAN ADEQUATE. Your lack of youth, money, time, etc., should not stop you from adopting IF the Lord is calling you to do so. In fact, your shortcomings shouldn’t stop you from doing anything the Lord is calling you to do.
I am not a perfect person, definitely not a perfect mother, but He is a perfect father and completely sufficient for me.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
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