Okay, so today I had to post a picture of my sweet little sleeping beauty. Gymnastics and a trip to Target to buy a birthday gift for her buddy, Madison, just tuckered her out today. I am thankful she will at least sleep in the car.
Just to update you on the latest… In November we were #31 on the wait list for a referral (to be matched with a baby). In December we got news that we had moved up to #19! That was super exciting to move that quickly. Then In January we found out that we moved a big, whopping one spot up to #18. Needless to say that was disappointing and I shed a few tears that day. At the beginning of this month we had moved up three spots and were at #15. So, there are 14 families ahead of us. The good news is that some of those families are probably requesting different ages than us and some probably specified a certain gender (we did not)- therefore, some of those 14 families may or may not be matched before us. The bad news is there is just no predicting how much longer we will have to wait. As you can see by the numbers I gave above, there is no rhyme or reason to how many families get matched each month. I can rest in the fact that I have no idea of what the future holds, but He knows each minute of each day long before it occurs, and He has my family in His hands, under His control.
A few weeks ago, Payton was sitting in the back seat and randomly said, “Mommy, where’s my brother or sister?” Knowing she knew the answer, I replied, “I don’t know, Peanut, where is he?” “Epiopia” (spelling intentional there- she’s progressed from “Opiopia”) she proudly announced. Wanting to guard her tender heart, I reminded her that it would be a long time before we met her brother or sister. Her matter-of-fact, trusting response- “I know Mommy. We just have to wait.” Out of the mouths of babes…
Then, a few days ago, she broached the subject again, this time, talking to herself… “My brother or sister is in Africa. They will come some day and play with me. They will play with baby toys…” It was all I had in me not to melt right then and there, but I was driving and didn’t have the luxury. Payton is waiting patiently. She trusts that when we told her that she will have a brother or sister we meant it, and we will come through on our promise. Hmm… I just happen to know Someone who ALWAYS keeps promises, who can ALWAYS be trusted.
Waiting is so hard, though. Can you hear the whine in my voice? Because I’m definitely whining…
In the both services at Walnut Street we are going through the book of Philippians, and it has been awesome, I must say. Kris’s sermon a few weeks ago was a great reminder to me that God can use all of our circumstances and all of our days (even those spent waiting) for His glory. We studied Philippians 1:12-18, where Paul is in prison but is recognizing that “because of [his] chains, most of the brothers in the Lord have been encouraged to speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly.”
So, this is my prayer. God, be glorified in our waiting. Quite frankly, this is not much fun- in fact, if you had told me when we started the process, that sixteen months into this I would still not be holding my baby, I’m not sure I would have signed up… Guess that’s why He only gives us one detail at a time. Because we did “sign up” and we are whole-heartedly in it, no regrets- even in the middle of the wait.
Here’s the thing, though- I would love our long journey through the adoption process to be something the Holy Spirit uses to prompt others to adopt- just like Paul’s arrest encouraged others to preach more boldly. That would be so totally cool… But it could be that He is using my struggle in waiting to glorify Himself in my own life by changing my heart- by showing me how to trust Him more, by teaching me that satisfaction is found only in Him, by slowly developing my character into something more fitting for the mother of our next addition. God could be up to a million things, and there could be a million reasons this process is taking so long, but- whatever the case, God be glorified. I know that He knows not only when but why.
My friend, Lisa, who is also waiting on her adoption to be finalized posted Galations 6:9 as her Facebook status a while back, and I think we can all glean some encouragement from it- “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Thank you Jesus, You know the proper time.
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