"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:13-14

Hello Friends!

Right now I’m sitting in the car in my garage listening to two pretty calming sounds- a steady rain and Payton’s soft snores.   If you know us well, you know that we have a very sweet, very busy little girl.  Her former Sunday school teacher, Miss Becky, once told me that Payton was the busiest child she had ever worked with.  She’s not hyper and has a great attention span, but her mind never stops until her head hits the pillow at night.  Unfortunately, her head only hits the pillow at night.  She stopped napping shortly after turning two, and I have tried everything (short of hiring Julie Andrews to come sing the “Stay Awake” song from Mary Poppins) to settle her down enough to sleep in the middle of the day, but the only thing that works is a car ride.  So, here we sit.  I’ve figured out that sometimes I just have to give up the fight, let go, and do things her way. 

Funny that I can concede to doing things a three-year-old’s way from time to time, but I’m still learning to let go and do things HIS way.  We’ve already visited the fact that adopting our next baby wasn’t in my original plan.  I took the leap, adjusted course, and trusted Him with that one.   I am learning though, that each detail of our journey is important to the Lord and He has them all figured out- He doesn’t need me to manipulate circumstances and come up with grand ideas- can you believe it?!   Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me that He has plans for me- prosperous plans!  And Psalm 119 reminds me that before my first breath he had a plan for each and every day of my life.   I can let go…

After giving up my plan of carrying my next child, it was time to face the fact that this would also mean giving up some serious cash.  Billy’s biggest fear in adopting was the financial side of things.  Me carrying a baby meant a couple thousand dollars for our insurance deductible, as opposed to at least $25,000 to adopt.  Billy is a businessman and the numbers obviously didn’t lean in favor of adoption.  Thankfully the Holy Spirit was in favor, and opened Billy’s eyes to more than dollar signs.  Still left us with the question of where the money was going to come from…

I worked it all out.  We would have a yard sale and raise some money, I could make some things (I can be crafty…) and sell them on Etsy, we could apply for a grant, and then our church would help us with the rest.  This was great- if Walnut Street got behind this financially and some other organization like ShowHope or LifeSong helped too, maybe other couples in our church would be encouraged to adopt- after all, the money is what holds a lot of people back.  Okay, God I’ve got it all worked out so- Go!

Well, He did “Go” but not in the way I had planned.  About the time our first chunk of money was due, Billy’s business absolutely took off and exploded.  We saved every penny for the adoption in a matter of a few months.  (Shout out to Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace, which we had gone through about a year earlier.  Ramsey’s ideas of budgeting had us in a place where putting extra money aside was possible, and it really kept us focused on doing so.)  And then, just like that, after the money was set-aside in an account, the business slowed back down- not to where we were hurting, but to where we have enough for our present needs.   I am beyond thankful the Lord has blessed my husband with an abundance of intelligence and business savvy- to God be the glory.

His plan was pretty great, and impossible without His orchestration, so you would think by now that I would let Him call the shots, but instead, I fight impatience daily.   I want my baby sooooo badly.  At an adoption fundraiser last weekend, we had the privilege of watching a video of some friends meeting their children in Ethiopia.  They showed some pictures of an orphanage where there was the sweetest baby girl sitting in a cardboard box because they had nowhere else for her to sit.  I wanted to stand up and yell, “I’ve got a place for her right here in my arms!  Get me a plane ticket, I’m ready to bring her home!”  I can’t seem to get that precious girl off my mind.  I know God has a plan for her (one that I pray includes a forever family), and a plan for us- I also know I have to trust Him to work out the timing of that plan.  If this sounds familiar from another posting, sorry- this is a lesson God re-teaches me daily.  Maybe eventually I’ll have it down. 

One thing I have learned during the waiting- He waits , too.  I want to be united with my child so much it hurts- His desire to be united with His children led to the worst pain possible- the sacrifice of His son.  If you don’t know Jesus as your Savior, you need to know He waits for you- He wants so badly to be with you that He sent His son to die for you.

If you do know Jesus, praise God.  You’re already united with Him through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and you will be united with Him face to face one day.  But for now, we wait…