Hey Friends!
Well, we’ve been home for three weeks now, so I guess it’s
past time to update y’all. We had a
fantastic trip to Ethiopia to meet our Ellie Claire. It was filled with emotional ups and downs,
and the Lord’s blessings were overwhelming.
As we boarded our last leg from Germany to Ethiopia, I was
really, really sick, and the emotions kinda came pouring out all at once. Could it be that we are really doing this
again? This was so not how I pictured my
second trip to Ethiopia. My second trip
was supposed to be to bring home our Addie.
I was supposed to have suitcases filled with clothes and diapers and
bottles and all sorts of other baby paraphernalia, ready for the ridiculously
long trip back to the States with an infant.
Instead, I had suitcases filled with things to leave there,
in Ethiopia. Instead of looking forward
to bundling up my girl and getting on a plane with her, I was preparing myself
to have to leave yet another child I love.
My heart and mind could barely wrap around what was
happening and how I was supposed to be feeling.
Thankfully, I serve a God who created me, a God who made people capable
of experiencing many different emotions, often all at once. In fact, my God has, Himself, experienced
humanity and the treasure trove of feelings that come along with it. I imagine that the cross and the days leading
up to it were filled with every emotion possible- He knew the pain of sadness
and grief. He knew the exhaustion and
weariness that comes with physical weakness.
He knew the joy that would come with His resurrection. He knew what is was like to accept the
Father’s will and acknowledge His authority and perfect plan, while
questioning- “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
So, there I sat.
Accepting- “He is God. He is
good. He’s in charge”- and yet, asking,
“Really, God? Is this really
happening? Why?” I was painfully aware that I wouldn't be seeing Addie this trip, and gleefully excited that I would be meeting Ellie Claire.
When we landed in Ethiopia and de-boarded the plane, the
familiar sights and smells were overwhelming.
I did not want to fall apart there in the airport, so I kept it
together, at least for the moment. We
got our visas, gathered our bags, changed our money, and headed out to meet
Woudneh.
We were thankful for an hour or two with him before another
family arrived. We knew, and he knew,
that this trip couldn’t be about Addie, and yet, there were questions we
desperately wanted answered.
Unfortunately, the answers we received were not those for which we were
hoping. He filled us in on some of what
happened and why the judge made the decision she did. Because this is a public blog, I am choosing
to be vague in what I share about this… but let’s just say we didn’t
necessarily like what we heard. The next
thing we were told just about shattered my heart. The cell phone number that Woudneh had for
Addie’s family has been disconnected, and they are no longer in the town where
they said they would be. We will, aside
from a miraculous act of God, never know anything more about our beloved
girl. My heart sank. This was soooo not what I wanted to
hear. I wanted to hear that she is being
loved and cared for, that she is growing and healthy, that this was a wonderful
thing for her.
I want to reiterate that we are ALL for family
preservation. We FIRMLY believe that the
best place for a child is with her biological mother and father, assuming that
they are willing and capable, either on their own or with the help of an
organization, to care for and love said child.
We support, through our money, prayers, and advocacy, organizations that
help mothers and families KEEP their children.
There are many families in Ethiopia and around the world who initially
decide to give up their rights to their children, and then receive the help
they need to provide for that child, thus changing their situation and allowing
the family to stay together- when this happens, praise Jesus! One less orphan! This is how it should be! Unfortunately, we live in a fallen, messed up
world, and our extended family knows from personal experience that a child
staying with his or her biological parents is sometimes detrimental to all
involved. Please understand that I have
not shared all of Addie’s story, and will not share all of it, for the time
being. I just ask that you trust me and
my heart when I say that to the best of our understanding of her circumstances,
her birth family did not appear to be the best place for her. That’s all I’ll say about that- moving
on….
Apparently Addie’s birthfather was a very poor man, and
Woudneh believes that there is a good possibility that she is back with her
birth mother, even though she did not have the ability to care for her, and she
had, in fact, given up her legal rights to Addie, even telling the judge and
Woudneh, the last time they saw her, that she DID want us to adopt her precious
baby. Her birth mother was a beggar,
going from home to home pleading for work.
She already had a three year-old daughter for whom she could not
provide. The thought of this teenage
girl starving on the streets of Ethiopia with two sweet children is more than I
can bear. One day when we were out and
about, a young mother came to my van window with her baby strapped to her
back. She pled with me for some food or
money, and I fell apart. All I could
think about was Addie. Is she strapped
to her mother’s back on the side of the road somewhere, while her mother does
everything she possibly can to get enough to survive the day? My heart broke all over again. I searched every woman’s face, hoping to
recognize her birth mother’s unforgettably sad eyes.
I am well aware that the Lord may have provided a miracle,
and that there is the possibility that Addie, her sister, her birth mother, and
her birth father are getting everything they need. I pray EVERY SINGLE DAY that this is what is
happening. He is capable of making this happen. There is also the possibility that they are
homeless and hungry. Guess what- He’s still
capable. Not gonna lie, this is
something really hard for me to understand.
Why are there starving kids when God is able to feed them?
My feeble mind cannot give you a complete answer, but I would say first
of all, it could be that in His grace, He’s allowing YOU and ME in on His work-
He is asking us to step up and step in.
Organizations and ministries like Eyes that See, Unadopted, Kidmia, Project Hopeful, and Moringa for Many are working daily to preserve families, feed and educate
children, and of course, share the good news of Jesus (in these cases,
especially in Ethiopia). If you are
interested in getting involved in what He’s doing there, links to many of these
groups, and more, are on the side of my blog.
Adoption is a also GREAT way to help kids here and around the world, but
it can’t stop there- we have to do more to prevent kids from becoming orphans
in the first place.
Okay, back to the question... My second answer is this- I recently heard a pastor say, “God provides
exactly what is sufficient for Him to accomplish His work in us.” I know you’ve heard the stories, because I
have, of beggars, homeless men and women, who have impacted the lives of
thousands. I mentioned in a blog awhile
back about the poor widow in the New Testament who gave all she had to the temple… God can use those
who have little or nothing at all. He
wants to be glorified in our lives, in Addie’s life, and He will do so,
sometimes when we are weakest and least equipped, by human standards. By the way, this is NOT an excuse for us to
sit back and do nothing…
That same pastor also said, “The fullness of His goodness
and generosity will not be experienced until the day He comes again.” Can’t wait for that day. All the “things” we’ve accumulated will
amount to a big ole pile of crap- sorry, that word’s better than what I was
thinking, though- “Crap” because, first of all, we have to leave it here, and
secondly, but perhaps more importantly, because in the light of His glory, we
won’t need or want any of it. Why not
get rid of some “crap” before that day, so that another woman, man, or child can
eat- or better yet, so they can hear the good news of Jesus Christ and experience
“the fullness of His goodness and generosity” with you on that day?
Sorry to get a bit preachy… I promise these words are
written to my own heart and life as much, if not more so, than to any of
yours’. “Crap” is a struggle for me,
and every time I think I’ve got it figured out, I end up with yet more “crap.” Having a child that I can’t personally
provide for, though, has opened my eyes to needs and hurts that sometimes I can
hardly stand to see. I pray that my
opened eyes will maybe open yours, and that together, we’ll see God change our
hearts so that we are absolutely compelled to have less and do more.
I know this was a long one- thanks for sticking with
me. I cannot wait to tell you more about
Miss Ellie Claire. This trip started
with Addie, though, and so that’s where I started tonight. One of my favorite songs over the past few
months has been Big Daddy Weave’s “Redeemed.”
The Lord has really used it to remind me that He is my Redeemer. This trip was like that song on vivid
display. We saw Him- the Redeemer- at
work, and it was amazing. Stay tuned!
Blessings,
Jodi
