Addie's Christmas Shop FAQ's

Hey Friends!

We are less than three days away from Addie’s Christmas Shop and the excitement (i.e. absolute craziness) is building here at the Baker House.  In all seriousness, we are covering this event with prayer and trusting that He is more than able to both keep my head from spinning and line everything up just right to bring His name glory and honor.

We are so incredibly pleased that so many of you are choosing to come spend your Saturday evening with us, and even more thrilled that so many of you are really genuinely excited about our purpose.  Many of you have had some of the same questions, so I thought that I would address them here, in order for everybody to know where to look for answers.  Sooooo, without further ado, here are Addie’s Christmas Shop’s FAQ’s:

1.   What type of payment will you be accepting?

We will accept cash, checks, and credit.  There will be a 3% fee for those that use credit.

2.   Where should we park?

Alright, this is probably the hardest question.  We had planned on using the empty lot across the street from our home for extra parking, but thanks to the deluge that has bombarded our home all day today, it’s likely to be a muddy mess over there.  So, we’ll just have y’all park on the street.   There are several empty lots that would be fine to park in front of… just try to be respectful of our neighbors.  And carpool as much as possible! J  If parking gets crazy, I’ve got a couple of guys in the fam that are ready to valet J

3.   So, how exactly is this gonna work?

This is NOT an auction.  We considered several ways of doing this event, and after weighing pros and cons, decided on what will basically be a shop.  The main living areas (den, kitchen, dining room) of my home will be set up with the goods on display.  When you spot something you can’t live without, grab it.  When you’re done gathering your awesome purchases, there will be a couple ladies ready to take your payment.  We’ve got shopping bags and tissue paper all prepared for you!

4.   I really, REALLY LOVE ______________.  Can I go ahead and reserve it? Pleeeeeeaaaase????

Short answer is – No.

Long, and slightly more gracious answer is-  I am so glad you like our products!  They are made by amazing men and women all over the world who are so abundantly thankful you appreciate and want to purchase their handiwork.  Please understand that each item at the store was paid for by amazing husband, and we do not have a limitless budget.  Therefore, we were unable to buy multiples of every item (there are some items that we do have multiples of, and many that are one of a kind).  We are not a thirty-one or Pampered Chef catalogue.  This is just little ol’ me offering you the goods I’ve fallen in love with, so that we can support the ministries that produce them AND support two more amazing ministries by giving them the money you spend.  If I reserved items before the shop opened, I would probably have at least 75% of what I’ve posted pictures reserved and unavailable on the day of the event.  It wouldn’t be a very fun evening if it was sold out before we opened J.  

5.   So, is everything from Africa?

Our family loves Africa, and more specifically Ethiopia, because the Lord has deeply burdened our hearts for that beautiful place.  We have an Ethiopian daughter, and the store is named after another Ethiopian child we call “daughter.”  However, we also love the rest of this great big amazing world our God created.  At last count, we are selling goods from 31 different countries in North (and Central) America, South America, Africa, Europe, and Asia.  

6.   Don’t you love your own country?!?!

Tempted to not even dignify this with a response, but yes, we love the USA and are so blessed to call ourselves citizens of this great nation.  At Addie's Christmas Shop, you will have the chance to buy goods from multiple ministries located here in our own country, even our own city.  You will also get to fill you belly with yummy goodness from Scarlet’s Bakery, an enterprise affiliated with an amazing ministry here in Louisville, called Scarlet Hope.  ALSO, half of the money spent will be going to the Oldham County Pregnancy Resource Center to help moms in our own backyard.  We love our fellow Americans.  We love people.  Everywhere.

7.   Do I have to stay the whole time?

You are welcome to stay for the whole two hours or for ten minutes.  At about 8:00 we will put a pause on the shopping for about ten minutes to share our hearts behind the event and to make a BIG announcement, so if you’re around then, it would be great.  It will be a great time of fellowship, and not just shopping.  There are folks coming that I know from church, college friends, high school friends, family, neighbors, old friends, new friends, and people whose faces I’ve never seen before in my life.  We’re going to have a great time meeting and catching up- I can’t wait!

8.   How do I get to your house?

Okay, so I was going to answer this here, and then it occurred to me that this is a public blog.  As much as I love you, my readers, it’s probably not the best idea for me to advertise where I live.  If you need directions, check the Facebook event page.  I’ll post them there.  I’ll also post my phone number in case you get lost, but it’s super easy to find.

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for now… Can not wait to see each of your smiling faces Saturday night at 7 pm!!!

What's in a Name?

Three years ago, I lived in Fern Creek.  I attended and served at a church in urban Louisville.  My husband worked for a promotional packaging company.  I was a stay-at-home mom of a little girl who went to preschool three days a week.  I had two daughters- Payton & Addie.

Then it happened.  The derailment.  The painful, soul-wrenching, refining, and sanctifying derailment.

Have you ever seen the movie Polar Express?  You know that scene where the train is chugging along like a roller-coaster, and it suddenly reaches a point where the tracks are completely frozen over?  The train begins to spin out of control on the ice.   It's a moment when this happy, fun movie seems to momentarily be headed to Old Yeller territory.  All hope appears lost.

When we lost our girl, I felt a bit like that train.  We knew our purpose, we knew where we were headed.  And then, suddenly and without warning, we were spinning, slipping, and sliding, and hanging on for dear life.  Just like in the movie, the ice was splitting beneath us, and we were rapidly sinking into the watery depths, wondering what He was doing.

Hope was far from lost, though.  Even in our darkest moments when we felt so out-of-control, we were certain, though we could not see how, that the Lord was always sovereignly directing and orchestrating each moment.  We trusted Him, and it was a trust not based on the feelings at the time, but on His faithfulness and goodness in our lives to that point.  It was a trust that was accompanied by an inconceivable peace that only He can bring.

Tonight I am sitting in my home in LaGrange, typing.  My kiddos- Payton, Ellie, and Cole- are upstairs, fast asleep in their beds.  Addie is somewhere in Ethiopia, still covered by the prayers of the Lord's people.  Billy's working for his own company that the Lord has truly blessed.  I'm still a stay-at-home mom, but now carry the title of home-schooler (!?!) as well.  Sunday, we will get up and go to our church right down the road, here, in Oldham County- a place the Lord constantly confirms is right where He wants us.  I'm busy planning Addie's Christmas Shop, and pretty regularly fighting tears as I consider the impact this little one's life is going to have on hundreds of women around our country and the entire world. My heart still grieves the loss of my daughter, but the Lord is making this derailment beautiful.  That's what he does.  He redeems.  He gives hope.  He brings peace and joy.  He loves. He forgives.  He rebuilds and transforms.  Our entire lives have changed over the past three years, but HE has remained the same.  I'm so very thankful.

The Baker's are loving life in this little town of LaGrange, where a train runs, quite literally, right down the middle of Main Street, and we are so eager for the next chapters of our journey.  In fact, on the evening of Addie's Christmas Shop, we will be sharing some super exciting news with our guests.   Big stuff is happening in our family, and we'd love for you to continue to follow along with us on this blog, which is hereby renamed, "Beautifully Derailed."  There will undoubtedly be other derailments and detours in our lives, and this new name will serve to remind me that His ways are not my ways, and His good purpose is always going to prevail.  Also, there was just entirely too much confusion every time I posted a blog under the title, "Another Baker Baby."  :)

Thanks for reading folks!  Hope to see you on the 21st!!!

"In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."  Proverbs 16:9

"Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."  Proverbs 19:21

Two daughters, Two Mommas, One Perfect Savior

So, tonight, as I was posting a sneak peak of Addie's Christmas Store, I came across a partial blog I wrote a little over a year ago.  Here are my thoughts from October of 2014.  I never finished it that night, because honestly, I was a weepy pregnant woman who just couldn't handle the processing of all the intense feelings...


"October is a month of big emotions for our family- and I'm pregnant, so let's face it, it has potential to be a month of epic, gargantuan emotions.  You see, today is Ellie Claire's second birthday.  It's a day to celebrate this precious gift and thank the Lord for her life.  It's a day to look back over the second year of her life and marvel at how she has grown and changed.  She is practically a different child than the one with whom we celebrated last year.  She is so full of life and personality, and with the exception of an occasional bashful episode, she absolutely loves people.  She laughs constantly, and gives more hugs than Santa Claus.  Her birthday reminds me to rejoice over the amazing little person she has become and is becoming.

Her birthday also holds a bit of sadness for this adoptive mama.  When I celebrate Payton's birthday each year, I am taken back to the day she was born.  I remember snuggling and nursing that tiny baby and staring at her in awe, wondering who she would be.  I remember how small she felt in my arms and how I was slightly terrified at being responsible for this itty bitty person.  I don't have memories of this day two years ago, though.  I was not there when my Ellie was born.  I was not the first to give her kisses and feed her and love her.  I don't remember her first moments in this world.  And while this makes me sad, I am abundantly thankful that I have moments to spend with her for the rest of her life.  I am more grieved for the one who was there to give kisses and feed and love her.  Last night as I prayed with her before bed, I prayed for her birthmother as I always do, but on this night I was particularly struck by the tragedy that played out at the beginning of Ellie's life-  tragedy, because a mother and child were about to lose one another- victory because in a country where abortions are becoming more rampant by the day, her birthmother chose life.  I imagine that her birthmother thinks about her every day, and that when October rolls around on the calendar her heart most likely aches for the little one she carried in her womb.  I wish she could see what a beautiful child Ellie is.  I wish she could know how happy and full of life and smart her daughter is.  I wish she could know that Ellie is loved beyond measure and now is also the daughter of a mommy and daddy who would go to the moon and back for her.  I pray daily that she has the hope of salvation through Jesus Christ so that one day she and Ellie can meet and embrace again before our Father.

Maybe part of the reason I hurt for Ell's birth mom so intensely is because October is a month when I, too, particularly ache for a special little girl- a girl named Addie.  It was this month two years ago when we met and when I last kissed her precious cheeks.  It was this month when I promised her I would be back for her.  I, as you know, never made it back for her, so I also wonder daily about my girl."

Y'all, these daughters of mine- Ellie and Addie.  Their birth moms.  Our Savior, Jesus Christ.  These are the answers when you ask us "why this?"   He has mightily used the lives of these precious two daughters and their birth moms to drive us to host Addie's Christmas Shop.  They are the heartbeat that pushes us to do more.  We are adoptive parents who are 100% pro-adoption.  We are also 100% pro-orphan-prevention.  Here is your chance to join us in helping mommas raise their babies... Your chance to ensure that poverty doesn't create orphans and your chance to help create a  different story for vulnerable men, women, and children. Come hang out with us and do some (or all) of your Christmas Shopping on November 21!  

Addie's Christmas Shop Sneak Peak!!!

Hi Friends!

I wanted to post a sneak peak of some of the many amazing goods available for purchase at Addie's Christmas Shop!  We have items from 18 different countries, supporting at least 25 different ministries.  These ministries are mostly organizations that provide dignified work to men and women who are overcoming poverty, addiction, exploitation, and other difficult circumstances.  They are providing the hope of Jesus to people who are desperate for Him.  When you purchase an item at Addie's Christmas shop, 100% of the money you spend will be donated to other incredible ministries and missions.  We are so excited about this event and hope you are, too!  Check out my other posts on this blog to learn more about our heart behind this!  And get excited- look at just a small portion of the amazing gifts you can find at Addie's Christmas Shop!

Two Mothers, One Daughter

Three years ago today Billy and I were in Ethiopia.

We were at a “fried chicken” restaurant called Dodi.

Woudneh had just come in and told us that he had found Addie’s (Mihret’s) birth mom. 

I stared at my food and wondered if what I had eaten was going to come back up.

We have many friends who have met their children’s birthparents, but they have all (for the most part) had time to prepare for these meetings.  They’ve had time to think about questions to ask, things they for sure want to say.  We were completely unprepared.  This meeting was one hundred percent unexpected.

When we accepted Addie’s referral, her case was considered abandonment.  We knew she had been left at an orphanage.  It pained me to consider her birth mother's hurt and desperation in leaving her baby, and now I was going to see it up close and personal.  Subconsciously, I think I preferred being able to separate my joy over a new baby from another mother's pain over what is probably the most significant loss one can experience.  When you truly look into the life and the eyes of a person, you can't ignore their pain and sorrow.  You can't go about your days in blissful ignorance.

Before heading to Dodi on this particular day three years ago, we learned that the police did indeed know the identity of Addie’s birth mother.  They did not, however, know where she was.  We had no idea what this would mean for the future of our adoption, but good ol’ Woudneh went to work and located her that very afternoon.  We were going to meet her here.  When?  Oh, in about thirty minutes or so.

???!!!! There are not really words that convey what I was thinking and feeling, because it was such a mix of whirlwind emotions.  What if she wanted Addie back? What if she didn’t want her?  How would I process that?  What would I say to her?  What should I ask her?  

This was no ordinary introduction, friends.  This would be two mothers meeting.  Two mothers who called one child, “daughter.”

I can still remember, like it was yesterday, the moment this 17 year-old girl climbed into the van and sat in the seat behind Billy and me.  I could feel the weight of her pain and sorrow as soon as she stepped inside.  I could see the fear in her eyes.  I could see her shame weighing her down.  I can still hear her sobs echoing in my heart and mind as she cried out in Amharic, “I am a terrible mother.”  I can feel my arms wrapped around her tiny frame as I cried with her and tried to assure her of her worth.   I kissed her head and both our bodies heaved with deep weeping.  The darkness outside our van windows seemed to be swallowing us, but I remember Woudneh saying with assurance, “We serve a good God, and He will do what is good.”  This was a sacred moment.  I had no idea at the time how this encounter would so intensely change me.

We learned a little of her story that evening, but not much.  She actually went to prison for a bit for abandoning her baby.  You might think this sounds reasonable, but please understand, there are not systems in place in Ethiopia that help desperately needy mothers.  She was so very young and alone and had no idea what to do.  I’m haunted by the look of dread and fear in her eyes when Woudneh asked her about Addie’s father.  She was adamant that she didn’t know where he was, and that she didn’t want him found.  In her words, “He is a bad man.” 

Y’all, I write those words and think my brain and heart are going to explode.  This is the same man that showed up out of the blue two months later and demanded to have his child.  I just can’t even process it.  Thankfully, I don’t have to- I can trust that our God is sovereign and good- not just to me but towards Addie, as well.  We know that Addie is most likely with her mother now, but that provides little comfort considering her circumstances- comfort comes from the Lord alone, and the assurance that He sees her and loves her.

The next day, we spent more time with Addie’s birthmom, and had the privilege of meeting her big sister.  She was three years old and full of energy and life.  Her mother was only 14 years old when she was born.  I watched as she slept in her mother’s lap and saw a child holding another child.   Her mom went door-to-door looking for “work.”  When Woudneh asked her if she could care for Addie, her response was (translated, of course) “What, and have her living on the streets like me?”

Friends, Addie is one of millions.  Millions of children whose mothers don’t have the means to feed them.  There are orphanages all over the world where children are dwelling, not because they have no living parents, but because their parents cannot afford to care for them.  The tragedy that so many children are orphaned by poverty pierces my soul.  The idea of a mother not having the resources to feed, educate, and care for her child’s physical health, and therefore having to give up her child?  I. CAN. NOT. HANDLE. IT. 

It is past time to do something.  I am so very far from doing enough, but let's take a step forward together- Join me on November 21^st for Addie’s Christmas Shop. (http://anotherbakerbaby.blogspot.com)
The goods that you will purchase that evening are providing dignified work for women all over the world and right here in the U.S.  The proceeds from these goods are feeding orphans, educating kids, giving women a sense of worth, and helping spread the gospel- that Christ came and died for all, and that each man, woman, boy, and girl is His treasure.  

Remember Addie’s mother with me.  Remember her sister.  Remember Addie.  

And let's do something.  

"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'" 

Matthew 25:40

Addie's Sister

Addie's Sister

      

The earliest picture we have of our girl- She was about three or four months old here.

Addie and Me.  She was six months old in this picture.  

Save the Date!!!

So, yes, I actually do still have a blog, but it’s been months and months since I posted anything here.  Life with three kiddos has happened, and it’s kept us more than a little busy.  No complaints, though.  We are blessed beyond measure by these three entrusted to us.  

I opened my TimeHop app this morning and it pulled up a blog I posted three years ago today.  We were twelve days from meeting Addie.  It was a time of great excitement and anticipation.  We had begun the adoption process two years earlier, and the wait had become excruciating.  I wrote that day, “ Addie turned six months old this week on the third, and while it was painful to not be there with her to kiss her cheeks, it is really quite remarkable to know that the Lord of All is there with her, watching over her, providing for her.  It’s a real exercise of trust to not be able to physically care for your child and rest in the fact that He is capable.  Addie (and also Payton) is always His before she is ours.  I pray I never forget that.”  He answered my prayer- not really in the way I would have preferred at the moment, but in the best way- His way.  I will not forget that she is His.  I cannot.  If I forget that she is His, I am in despair and without hope.  Knowing she is His is what allows me to accept that she will never be home.  It’s why I can go to bed in peace at night.  Unbeknownst to me when I wrote that blog, this exercise in trust will continue as long as we live.  As I reread the blog this morning, I could hear Billy singing in the background, “When peace like a river, attendeth my soul; When sorrows, like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, ‘It is well, It is well with my soul…”  This journey with (and without) Addie has taught us to say with blessed assurance, “It is well.”  

I was about to begin writing this blog after reading the old one, when the Holy Spirit reminded me I hadn’t even opened the Word this day, and I’ve learned that writing without first going to Him is never a good idea.  I opened a devotional app on my phone, and the first words on the screen were from Krista Williams, “God wants to use the painful places in our lives as a gateway into His presence.”  And then Genesis 28:16, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”  Losing Addie was, without question, the most difficult and painful experience of my life to date, but I can look back and offer thanksgiving, even through the tears, because I know that the Lord was with me in that place.  I know, with a grateful heart, that this road is what drew me into the presence of God in ways I had never before experienced.  

There are countless ways the Lord has redeemed our pain, and we know that He has entrusted to us a precious testimony of His goodness and faithfulness in dark times.  We also know that our time with Addie and her birthmother was a gift that opened our eyes and helped us see, up close and personal, a huge need in our world.

When we went to Ethiopia the second time, to meet our precious Ellie, we were sitting in the van one day in the capital city of Addis, when a young woman came to the window with a tiny baby strapped to her back.  She was begging for money and food and the pain in her eyes was intensely clear.  The grief that hit me was overwhelming.  I felt like I was looking into the eyes of Addie’s mother.  I felt like that baby was my once joy-filled, sweet Addie, staring at me with hollow eyes and gaunt cheeks.  I knew that moment, that God had a plan for this pain we had experienced, and it went far beyond me, Addie, or Ellie. 

I have prayed for two years that God would bless us with the opportunity to help women around the globe who are in similar situations to Addie’s mother- women who need dignified work to provide for their children, women who are alone and hurting, women who need Jesus.  

It was these prayers that lead us to helping a young woman by the name of Eyerusalem through Eyes that See.  (http://anotherbakerbaby.blogspot.com/2014/10/remembering-addie.html) That has been such a privilege.  However, the Spirit was still pushing me with, “there’s more…”

My dear friend, Jenny, recently said to me, “I wonder how the world would be different if everyone had an Addie?”  She said it in passing, and probably doesn’t even remember saying it, but it has rung in my heart repeatedly since that night.  I do have an Addie.  I have a child who has changed the way I see others and the world around me.  The Lord used Addie to change my heart and attitude.  But I have to ask myself, Has this change in my heart driven me, in turn, to change the world?

We are seeing the Lord begin to help us dream of new ways to help the countless “Addie’s” and their mommies.  The Lord has blessed me with a vision for what could be a tremendous opportunity for myself and my friends (and your friends, and their friends, and their momma’s friends…) to make a difference in the lives of women here in the United States and around the world.  Drumroll, please… Cue Clark Griswold…. “Joy to the world…!”

Announcing: 

Addie's Christmas Shop- 

Goods from the Globe, Good for the Globe

Ummmm, what?, you ask.  Allow me to expound.  Over the past couple years I have come across so very many amazing ministries that teach women artistic skills and business tactics and that then allow them to work and provide for their families.  Billy and I have purchased items from nine different organizations (so far, with more to come) that work with women in eleven different countries, US included, giving them dignified work and hope in Jesus.  At Addie’s Christmas Shop, (which will be November 21 at our home) you will have the opportunity to purchase these items from us, and all the proceeds will be going to the Oldham County's Crossroads Pregnancy Resource Center and Lifeline’s ministry, (un)Adopted.  Do you buy gifts for teachers, babysitters, secretaries, your mail carrier, hair stylist, ANYONE?  Need stocking stuffers?  This is the place!  Imagine if instead of all those $10 Starbucks cards you buy, you spend your money on an apron made by woman in Uganda, who can now feed her babies because of your purchase!  Imagine buying an adorable doll made by a woman in Moldova, and teaching your children the value in giving back!  When you buy a necklace from China for your sister, you are giving hope to a family in desperate need.  Each gift you purchase connects you and your recipient to a woman in the country where it was made, and then to a woman in the country to which the proceeds are going.  

I am really praying that my home is busting at the seams with women who want their Christmas shopping to mean something this year.  Or of course, the jewelry, scarves, purse, etc. they're wearing themselves to mean something… shopping for yourself is also permitted/encouraged. :)  I will be sending out invitations soon and would love to know if you're interested in receiving one!  Let me know if you would like one by mail, email, or Facebook, or all of the above, if you're super forgetful like me.  Bring your momma, your sister, your bff, your small group, your whole neighborhood- just let me know so I can have enough products to purchase and a cup of coffee and some yummy treats ready for you to munch on while you shop!

We are super excited about how God is going to use Addie's Christmas Shop, and we hope you will join us for a great evening! Go ahead and mark your calendars, save the date now for November 21st!  For now, I'll leave you with this teensy sneak peek of some of the goods!

Purse from Cambodia

Doll from Moldova

Necklace & Earrings from Kenya

Ornament from Uganda

Infinity Scarf (Go Cards!) from U.S.

Remembering Addie

Two years ago today, I woke up with a pounding headache that a few hours of sleep didn’t relieve.  I went down to the common room of the guest house where we were staying in Addis Ababa and soon had my girl, Addie, in my arms.  I wept upon greeting her.  This day was the day we were leaving Ethiopia.  The night before we had unexpectedly met her birthmother and were unsure at this moment whether or not Addie was adoptable.  The morning crept by with my heart clinging to this child that had me completely head over heals in love.  It crept by, and yet went by so quickly I felt like I blinked my eyes and my time with her was over.

We loaded up the van and headed to the court in hopes that her birthmother would show up.  We had no idea what would happen either way, though.  When we arrived, she was there with her three year-old daughter.  We spent the next couple hours waiting to see the judge, entertaining this bundle of energy, and wiping the tears of a  teenage mother who was alone and scared.  

The next thing I knew, she was being called before the judge, and then just like that, we received the news that Addie’s birth father didn’t have to be found, she wanted us to adopt her child.  We were filled with happiness and excitement that Addie would be ours, and filled with grief and sadness for this young girl whose heart was breaking in anguish.  

This was not how this was supposed to go for us.  When we received Addie’s referral, she was labeled “abandoned.”  I could distance myself from all that word meant for some other woman, and rejoice in my baby girl.  But now… now everything had changed.  I had witnessed up close and personal the tragedy with which an adoption begins.  I saw heartache and pain.  I saw injustice and despair.  And I hated it.  

We left the courthouse, headed back to the transition house, and ran to get our girl.  We practically smothered her with tears and kisses.  We took a last couple pictures, prayed for her, face timed my dad with her, and had to return her to her tiny, dark room. My heart was so torn.  I was heartbroken to have to leave her, not knowing when I would be back for her, but I was coming back.  There was such relief in that.  I had witnessed the tragedy that began her life, and I would witness the beauty of her life redeemed.  I promised her repeatedly that “Mommy’s coming back.”  I cringe when I remember that promise.  I did not come back for her.

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The Oxford Dictionary defines “remember” as being able “to bring to one’s mind an awareness of (someone or something that one has seen, known, or experienced in the past.)”  I remember Addie each day.  I pray for her and her birthmother and birthfather and sister.  I miss her frequently and still cry for her from time to time.  There are things that bring her to mind like meeting another child with her name, coming across a toy we bought specifically for her, seeing her picture.  But, there are a few days a year when I intentionally remember our girl.  

You might be wondering why anyone would purposefully want to “bring to one’s mind an awareness of” something so painful.  Here’s my reasons why…

First of all, I loved her then, and I love her now.  The thought of becoming so far removed from her world and from the time I last held her frightens me, because I never want to love her less.   I never want to forget her delightful smile and laugh.  I never want to forget the feeling of her tiny body cradled in my arms.  

Secondly, I remember because she changed me.  Her birthmother changed me.  Having met them and held them, my world was flipped upside down and inside out.  There are people out there with real, intense hurt and sorrow.  There are people who live in a world that is nothing but unfair and cruel to them.  I can’t pretend anymore that they don’t exist- because I’ve met them and I love them.  I can’t look at my Ellie and be oblivious to tragedy with which her life began.  I can’t celebrate her birthday without shedding tears for a young woman on the other side of the world who probably misses her child and wonders about her even more so than I do my Addie.  I can’t open up the World Vision or Compassion International websites and just passively look at the faces of children in need.  Those children are my Addie.  Their difficult lives are her life.  She changed the way I see others, and I don’t ever want to go back.  If remembering my Addie causes me sorrow and grief, then so be it, because it also makes me remember that it’s not all about me.  It’s about Him and the people he created and loved and whom He sees hurting…

Bringing me to the last reason I remember- I remember because I was created in His image, and He remembers.  Psalm 115:12 says, “The Lord remembers us and will bless us.”  He remembers all of His promises and He never forgets His children.  He is constantly aware of us.  I will remember Addie because He remembers Addie and He remembers me.  He knows her every move and thought and will never become distracted by things of this world.  I pray that I never become so distracted that I forget Addie and the millions of children like her around our country and the world.  I don’t ever want to be so comfortable in my comfort that I am also comfortable with the discomfort of others.  So, I remember my Addie.

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One of our favorite ministries is called Eyes that See.  They serve women in Ethiopia who have been rescued from the sex industry, and help them develop life and job skills, self worth, and most importantly help them meet the One who can rescue them for eternity.  They also help children whose families cannot afford to feed them and send them to school.  Billy and I are privileged to sponsor some little girls through Eyes that See, and several months ago, an opportunity arose for us to sponsor a young mother who is learning to take care of and provide for herself and her baby girl.  We didn’t have to question even for a moment whether we were supposed to step up for Eyerusalem.  When I see pictures of her and her precious daughter, I see Addie with her mother.  You can read her amazing story and how God has changed her life here- (after you've finished reading my blog, of course :) ) http://www.eyesthatsee.org/promotion/eyerusalem-and-yididay/ 

This morning, I opened my email to news that just recently, Eyerusalem was baptized.  On this day when I was remembering my Addie and experiencing the grief of losing her again, I was  reminded of God’s promise to use all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.  Eyerusalem is proof that He has remembered that promise.  It doesn’t take away the pain, but there is such redemption in knowing that because He changed my heart through Addie and her birth mom, two more lives are being changed.  I don’t tell you this to say that Billy and I are awesome people because we help one mother- first of all, there is soooooo very much more we could do… but secondly, and more importantly, we are completely incapable of doing anything good without Him- without His enabling us physically and motivating us spiritually.  I tell you about Eyerusalem because her redemption story is a part of our redemption story.  The beauty brought from her ashes adds beauty to our ashes as well.  

I also tell you about Eyerusalem, because part of me truly hopes that you remember Addie as well- that Addie changed you, too.  November is Month of Change for Eyes that See.  This is a super easy way to support this ministry.  Decorate a jar (or something with a lid) and any time in the next month you come across spare change, toss it in.  Then, at the end of the month, hand the change over to Eyes that See.  This is a great way to get little ones involved in the care and support of others.  You can learn more about Month of Change in the upcoming days at eyesthatsee.org.  

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I miss my girl.  I constantly wonder what she looks like now and if she’s still so full of life and joy.  I think about her mother and so wish that I could help her.  I have to trust that the Lord is more than capable of caring for her without me, and give thanks for those to whom He does allow me to be His hands and feet.  Two years since I last kissed Addie’s cheeks and it seems like an eternity, but I know the One who holds eternity.  I know that One that created those cheeks.  I know Him, and I know He will never forget me and never forget her.  He always remembers.