Leaving on a Jet Plane, Round 2 :)

Hey Folks!

So, I usually sit down to write a blog, having some idea of what I want to say, where I’m going… but tonight, the night before we begin our long journey back to Ethiopia, I am this bizarre combination of sad and giddy, nervous and excited, and I’m gonna have to just figure this out as I go…

It is so hard to believe that we are starting the next part of this adventure.  In an effort to free up some space on my phone today, I erased about a million old text messages and pictures.  There were many pictures I just couldn’t bear to erase, though.  Remember this one?

That was the drawing Payton made for us to take to Addie.  We showed it to her about an hour before we left Ethiopia and took adorable photos of her holding it, grinning ear to ear.  Ugh, that stings, to see… And yet-

Look again.  Notice anything?  There is an extra person there.  I remember clearly Payton drawing that fifth body.  I asked her who that was, and she just said, “oops,” and kept going.  Umm….  Now, I know quite well that my daughter is no prophetess, but I can’t help but think the Lord chuckled a little at her unknowingly foreshadowing what was to come.   Seems to me that adding an “Ellie Claire” caption under that body might be appropriate.

Along with the pictures, there were a few text conversations that I had to keep too- texts that were a timeline of sorts of the past six months.  They showed every range of emotion possible, and took me back to days of agonizing waiting, joyful hoping, deep grieving, and gleeful surprise.  There was a common thread that ran through them all, though- He was there. 

The Lord has been with us every step of the way.  He prepared our hearts long before we ever went to Ethiopia.  I know that His Holy Spirit was guiding me when I memorized James 1:2 before our trip- “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”  I know that He led me to James again on November 5, when we were waiting to get our MOWA letter in, which would legally make Addie ours.  I texted Billy that morning: “Read this this a.m.  Was hoping for a ‘you get your baby’ James 6:2, but apparently it’s not there.  ‘Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast.  You have heard the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.’- James 5:11.”  That verse seemed perfect to me at the time- reminding me to remain steadfast as I waited for official word, because I had lived a life full of testimonies of the Lord’s compassion and mercy; I could trust Him, and I knew it.  Two days later, we got the call from Lesley, and Billy came upstairs to my classroom at church that Wednesday night to tell me “She is ours!”  Addie was legally a Baker. 

I thought that verse was appropriate then… I had no idea what was coming, how our steadfastness was only beginning to be put to the test, how much I would have to cling to the Lord’s past faithfulness to trust that He was still my good God, and always would be.  But one thing I have learned in my short 32 years-  The Lord is ALWAYS compassionate and merciful, we just can’t always see how in the middle of the battle.  Remember the verse I listed last in my previous blog, though?  “Look among the nations and see; wonder and be astounded.  For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told,” Habakkuk 1:5.  He is constantly working in our lives- all things together for the believer’s good- and I truly believe that there will be a day, maybe not until He comes again, that I will look back at pictures, texts, and memories, and I will see a beautiful display of His compassion and mercy over our family.  My girls’ middle names mean “mercy and grace beyond the horizon,” and I know that is what I’ll see in the days and years ahead. 

I hope you know that grace and mercy.  I hope you recognize the Lord’s compassion in your life, because I am absolutely certain that these truths of His word were not just written for the Baker’s.  If you are a follower of Christ, we ask that you pray for us as we head out tomorrow.  Here are some specific requests to lay before Him:

Safety and health as we travel.  I got nasty sick last time we were in Ethiopia.  Ick.

A great time of bonding and attachment with Ellie Claire

Payton- we’ll be gone eight nights this time, a long time for a four year old to be without Mommy and Daddy

Our emotions… well, because, you know…

Court- we have every reason to believe that court should go smoothly, but then again, we did last go-round too.

Luggage- three flights over- pray the bags make it with us.

Our hearts- traveling to a third world country, spending time with orphans… we don’t want to come back unchanged.  Pray He further breaks our hearts for what breaks His.

Our last day there- it is just plain hard to leave your child behind

Our faith- pray that the Lord continues to reveal His compassion in our circumstances.

Thanks, friends.  We love you all, and can’t wait to tell you about our girl after we meet her.  To God be the glory for all He is doing and is going to do.  

And by the way, Payton drew a picture of our family for Ellie today, and there are NO extra people this go round... just in case you were wondering. :)