"As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!" Psalm 40:11

So, I guess you’ve figured out that we’re not in Ethiopia.  We have yet to receive a court date, so because of the court closing in the rainy season, it will probably be early October before we make our first trip.  Two months before we get to hold our sweet girl, and then at least three months after that before we get to bring her home.  Five months.  I really can’t sigh deeply enough.

This is just plain hard.  Knowing that the Lord is in control makes it easier, but not easy.  He never promised that our journey would be easy, but He assures us that He will always be with us, that He holds the future, that He loves us, and that He will strengthen us.  I have no idea how people go through this without Jesus.  My heart literally aches for my baby, but at the same time I have such peace in knowing that He not only has the timing under control, but He is watching over my girl.  I am clinging to Psalm 146:9- “He upholds the widow and the fatherless.”  He loves my girl even more than I do.

My girl.  Makes me grin just to say it.   Let me tell you the little bit that I know about her.   We have the blessing of having a couple pictures, (which we can share online after she is officially ours) and she is beautiful.  I know I’m biased because I am her mother, but really, she’s just absolutely adorable- has the biggest, brightest eyes I’ve ever seen. 

She is about four months old.  I write “about” because we don’t really know.  She was abandoned, found, and the police admitted her to an orphanage.  This is something I can’t quite wrap my brain around.  On one hand, the fact that she is an orphan is what makes it possible for her to be my child.  On the other hand, it is very difficult to swallow that my baby has already experienced tremendous loss at the start of her young life.  It makes my stomach turn to think about her lying helpless and alone.  And yet, I am absolutely floored by the mercy of our Father- He kept her from animals and evil men, and allowed a kind person to find her.  He preserved her health, and kept her safe.  He never left her- HE never abandoned her.  Thank you, Jesus. 

Her Ethiopian name, which we are keeping as her middle name, is Mihret (pronounced Mi-hi-ret), which means “mercy.”  When I call her by her full name, or write it on some form down the road, I will always remember the Lord’s mercy over her life.  I will also remember the Lord’s mercy over my life.  Her situation was pretty grim, but nothing compared to the situation from which the Lord delivered me.  My sin meant I was completely and utterly hopeless- not just for this life, but for eternity.  I had no future, no inheritance, and no name, but in His mercy He sent Jesus.  And I can say with complete certainty that through Jesus, I am now a child of God, free from condemnation, and full of hope for eternity with Him.  It is my deepest prayer that both of my girls will personally know this mercy some day.

Clearly, because of its special meaning, we love the name that some kind person gave her, but for many reasons we decided to keep it as her middle name instead of her first.  We are going to name her Adelaide Mihret Baker, and call her Addie.   Payton has not quite decided whether she will call her Adelaide or Addie, though.  It changes for her from day to day. J

Tonight, as I sat by Payton’s bed and sang “Great is thy Faithfulness,” I was so thankful that I could sing it and know again of its truth.  Payton interrupted me halfway through to ask why she and Addie would be sisters.  I paused, thinking, “Because our God is full of mercy,” but concluded that this answer would probably be slightly over her sweet little head.  So instead, I told her that they would be sisters because they shared a mommy and daddy.  “Oh.  Oh, yeah,” she said laughing.  “When she comes I will teach her how to read,” she stated, very excitedly.  I reminded her that she might want to learn herself, first.  She giggled again, and continued, “And I will teach her how to sing, and show her how much God loves her.” 

Wow.  Maybe God’s mercy isn’t so over her head. 

I am just so thankful.  Can’t say much more than that.