Spring is Coming!

Here I sit amidst palm trees, beautiful marshes, a wide, sandy beach, and some of the most perfectly manicured golf greens in the world, typing on this gloomy New Year’s Eve.  We’ve had a super fun morning playing on the beach, and now the littles are down for their afternoon naps- the littles and the grands J.  My thoughts today are constantly wondering back to New Year’s Eve 2012- three years ago, when I sat on this same island battling the deepest grief of my life to date.  Now hear me carefully, I know full well that there are those that have faced far greater struggles, pains, and heartaches.  This just happens to be the worst of what the Baker family has been dealt. 

Three years ago today, we received the news that our daughter Adelaide “Addie” Mihret would not be coming home to us- her adoption had been revoked.  Friends, I have tried to think of something to which I could compare this trauma so that some of you could more closely relate, and nothing comes to mind.  When a follower of Christ loses a fellow follower of Christ in death, there is great peace that comes in knowing that that friend is now in the presence of the King, where there is no more suffering, only the beauty and glory of the Lord.  But our girl didn’t go to be with Jesus.  No, our girl was to be living with her biological father- a man that was described to us a “bad man”- a man that insisted on and paid for the abortion she survived and a man that was in no way shape or form helping to take care of her or her sister at that point. 

We loved and adored our Addie.  Her laugh rung in our ears and we saw her smile every time we closed our eyes.  I still can imagine her hand on my face and her giggles as she pulled my long, straight hair.  She was our daughter.  She was a Baker.  On that dreadful day, peace seemed unlikely- impossible.  But, we had just celebrated Christmas- the coming of the Prince of Peace, and His peace is not based on feelings or circumstances.  His peace is based on who He is.  And He is good.  He is loving.  He is kind, caring, and merciful.  He is full of grace and compassion.  He has promised to never leave me or forsake me.  He has promised to use all things for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to his purpose.  He has promised to bring beauty from ashes.  He has promised to come again one day and make everything right.  The peace that comes from knowing all of these promises are completely trustworthy, from knowing that He is who He says He is- that peace is incomprehensible and undefeatable.  He is God and He is good, no matter what we may see or feel. 

I do see the three amazing little blessings I get to call “mine,” and am amazed at how He uses them to heal our broken hearts.  Payton, our oldest was four years old on this day three years ago.  I will never forget the knife that pierced my heart when her daddy and I had to sit her down and tell her Addie was not coming home.  I can hardly bear to remember her tears and confusion.  We assured her that the Lord would bless us with another baby, but she felt the same way we did- we didn’t want “another” baby- we wanted Addie.  She wanted to know how Addie would have what she needed, how her father would suddenly take care of her.   I had one answer for her then, and one now- we have to trust.  We have to trust that our God is good and that He is more than capable of providing for our girl- His girl. 

Losing Addie impacted Payton in ways that we did not see coming- with ripple effects still lingering.  I look back at pictures of her on the beach that hard winter and feel a little breathless as I think of the bubble that popped around her.  She saw the world for what it is, and felt loss with which a child shouldn’t have to cope.  Trusting the Lord with this child who is with me is quite possibly just as difficult as trusting Him with the one who isn’t.  He reminds me of the same verse that He’s brought to mind so many times on this journey- that in all things He works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom. 8:28)  We know He will use this loss for good in Payton’s life, too.  We can see where His hand is at work in her heart and pray that she will have a passion and compassion for others- specifically vulnerable children- that comes only from Him- that He will use her story with (& without) Addie to change her for the better.

We remember Addie today, but we also remember our God.  We remember the way He sustained us in our darkest hours.  We remember His peace in times of confusion and pain.  We remember how after we lost Addie, He gave us Ellie- whose Ethiopian court date we received on Addie’s first birthday.  We remember how He has given us Cole- whose presence we discovered on Addie’s second birthday.  And now we look forward with eager anticipation to the spring- a time of new life and new beginnings, the time when the Lord brings new beauty- the perfect time to open Addie’s Good(s). We have decided to shoot for April 2nd for our grand opening.  April 3rd (a Sunday) is Addie’s fourth birthday, and we can’t think of a better place to celebrate her than at the shop named in her honor.   April 2^nd may come and go with no shop open, but we are going to make that date our goal, so mark your calendars!

It is our hope and prayer that the Lord would use this little shop to change the lives of men and women around the world and that there would be countless mamas keeping, and raising, and loving their babies because of the goods purchased there.  It is all for His glory, for His name to be made known.  We would love for you to pray for us as we begin the work to get the shop ready and ask the Lord would put every detail in place!  Also, pray for our Addie today.  Pray she is safe, has a full belly, is well cared-for, and healthy.  Pray that she is being taught about the Jesus who loves her more that she could possibly ever imagine.  And we pray you know that Jesus, too.  He is so good, and wants so very much for you to love Him- He already loves you.